I shouldn’t be the superhero’s girlfriend. I should be the superhero.
Remember how everyone’s favorite part of Heath Ledger’s performance in Brokeback Mountain was his almost painful physical repression, his reluctance to express any emotion that wasn’t punching or SHUTTING DOWN? His voice was closed in on itself in a raspy burr — he fell to the ground rather than shed tears — his face was hooded and dark and full of twitching cheek muscles. Kristen Stewart is Heath Ledger, I assure you. She has the same handsome face, the same winsome, masculine smile, the same reluctance to make direct eye contact.
For years, everyone in the world has misunderstood Kristen Stewart’s compressed emotional range. They thought it meant she was a limited actress; it means nothing of the kind. She is John Wayne being forced to play the Maureen O’Hara character. Give her a rail to lean against during a sunset, a military jacket, a toothpick to chew on, and something to squint her eyes against lazily in the distance, and her guardedness will be transformed from unsuccessful femininity to The Great American Male.
Kristen Stewart is a goddamn cowboy.
"We are fortunate indeed that we have not been punished by a vengeful god for daring to force Kristen Stewart to live disguised as a girl. Not, mind you, that girls are not wonderful, merely that Kristen Stewart never was. She was meant to walk squarely and plain-facedly down windowless hallways. Muscles were meant to twitch in her cheek. Her jaw was built to support the weight of the world.
Kristen Stewart was meant to grimace and scowl and hold her feelings in tightly until her mouth turns into a single compressed line and punch things and lean against walls.
How could any of us for even a second have been fooled into thinking that KStew was a romantic heroine. Give her the Jodie Foster roles and watch her rise. Make her a killer, make her a flustered FBI agent, make her a soldier; give her shirts square shoulders and strong cuffs. Keep her moving, keep her capable, keep her conflicted, and watch her win you over.”
FUCK. This article is my poetry, it is my Bible, it is my everything. I may be shedding tears over it, I don’t know. I can’t feel my face. I am overwhelmed with the fact that we as a human race are blessed enough that someone put this all into words. I want to quote this at parties, I want college classes devoted to it, I want people to get it tattooed on their forearms.
Am I overreacting? I think I’m overreacting. Just: Kristen Stewart, man. Kristen Stewart.